A Mindfulness Journey of Hope and Light
A Mindfulness Journey of Hope and Light
By Cynthia Vascak September 2020
Mindfulness practice is my source of hope, courage of heart and inner spirit, resilience, and compassionate engagement. Mindfulness has opened me to a wondrous path of ever present learning, the ongoing cultivation of awareness, and instead of suffering the breaking of my heart , having my heart breaking ever open, ever wider and wider, in love, compassion, empathy, and gratitude.
I first encountered the concept of "Mindfulness" in 1994 while reading the book" Being Peace" by the venerable Thich Nhat Hahn. This little book of wisdom and teaching transformed my life by affirming, connecting with, and watering the seeds of Mindfulness within me : my compassion, empathy, acceptance of others as they are, desire to help others and transform the world while being guided by peacefulness and love, my love of nature, my creativity as an artist, and my innate spirituality in a way that resonated through my whole being. I was teaching full time at a university, undertaking my doctoral studies in education, recovering from a divorce, and living in a student apartment on campus. So many years ago and yet just a moment ago. My life journey and vocation for teaching and artistry have continued, nourished by my ever growing understanding of Mindfulness and the slow but ever present manifesting of these special seeds growing deeper and deeper roots in my being.
Coming closer to the present, in 2018 I stepped away from 25 years of university teaching and administration, undertaking a transitional year of Sabbatical followed by retirement. My husband had passed away in 2015 and I had not yet truly addressed the wholeness of my grieving. I turned to my studio and to a much more intensive study and practice of Mindfulness starting with Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction. This intentionality of study and my daily practices led to deeper research into contemplative practices, neuroscience, trauma, and Buddhism. Quite naturally, studying Buddhism brought me back in a full spiral to Thich Nhat Hahn’s writings, to the Wake Up Schools, and Plum Village. As I deepened my practices, my whole energy shifted. As I faithfully watered and watered the seeds of Mindfulness and wholesomeness, they kept growing.
Just prior to the covid outbreak, I became very ill with classic pneumonia to the point of being sent to the hospital for 7 days. Meditation was a saving grace. I saw many others, including two roommates, who were intensely ill with heart disease and suffering great pain. My situation seemed so small ( and still feels so small ) in the face of their suffering and of others around me. All I could do to help was to be kind and loving, to listen with Mindfulness, and be positive and appreciative to everyone around me with the intent of being a source of loving, positive energy for others and to be grateful for the kindnesses of so many of the staff, nurses, and doctors. I meditated and meditated and meditated!. Lots of body scanning, Metta practice, and open meditation. I drew great strength and awareness from these practices. Returning home was simultaneously exciting and disconcerting as I had been temporarily living in a bubble of care with constant activity around me.
Returning home coincided with the spread of the covid pandemic and the restrictions of social isolation to be followed soon after by the brutal murders catalyzing the Black Lives Matter movement and bringing to light the insidious, all too pervasive presence of systemic racism, past and present. Suffering and struggle surround us as we face an unprecedented and still ongoing world wide pandemic, the surfacing of so many hidden and overt systemic and cultural social injustices, upheavals of fear/ anger and violence, closing of schools, loss of employment and loss of homes with a simultaneous food and water crisis, refugees suffering in unbelievable conditions, and accelerating climate change accompanied by so many natural catastrophes and loss of life among all beings. And the list goes on. So much suffering! What to do? What can be done?
I have chosen the path of Mindfulness and Mindfulness Education. Bringing and sharing Mindfulness to others is a path that, I believe, can help diminish individual suffering and help others continue to grow and become increasingly aware of our interconnectedness, our interdependence, and our interbeingness. So too, of our suffering, our sorrows, our challenges, our joys, and our love. I choose a path of peace and equanimity, change and transformation, loving kindness, and increasing awareness. Mindfulness Education has brought me new opportunities to serve, to make a difference, to connect, and to learn. I have always been an educator concerned with Care, Community, Social Justice, the Environment, and helping the world to be more loving and peaceful and equitable for all. Mindfulness Education weaves all of these threads together. Perhaps more aptly, Mindfulness practice and study has cultivated my awareness of these innate interconnections. My creative is also transforming. My consistent intentions have been the sharing of harmony, natural rhythms, and the beauty of nature – bringing calm and serenity to the viewer. Through Mindfulness, I see my work as continually evolving through a lens of loving kindness, the wonder of awareness, and interconnection.
Covid has brought us great sorrow and suffering, yet also new opportunities to participate and interact with one another. Who would have envisioned the possibilities of extending Sangha via the Internet? During this time of intensive ongoing social isolation and the temporary closing of many practice communities, Plum Village, The Raft, and Mindfulness Bell have become special forms of sangha to me. Online meditation groups are flourishing, online connections, recordings, videos of dharma talks and meditations, webinars for information and resource sharing; all reaching out across the traditional boundaries of time and location. So too, Artists, Activists, and Social Justice Advocates are reaching out. Even online Retreats. Everyday I can practice Mindfulness throughout the day. Everyday I can reach out. Everyday I can participate and engage with others. Everyday I can share online mindfulness practices with others near and far. So too, I can share the watering of Mindfulness seeds with beloved family, friends, plants, and pets, to all whom I interact with, beyond to all beings and , as I am learning, with my ancestors and our ancestors through the ongoing daily practices of mindfulness and reaching out.
Through my study and practice of Mindfulness I have learned that even the smallest heartfelt prayer or meditation resounds and vibrates with ripples of loving energy spreading ever outward. Our everyday acts of Mindfulness - informal and formal - ripple outward touching others. Small tiny acts – from loving and mindful thoughts – to loving and thoughtful speech - to mindful listening - to larger actions - each have resounding impact. Each single note within a larger harmony of interconnectedness touch one another and join together. One heartfelt smile of Mindfulness radiates outward and is shared by others across our Inter-beingness. We may not be able to change the suffering around us but we can change our responses, our thoughts, our speech, our actions so that with Mindfulness we respond in wholesome ways that bring love, compassion, and loving kindness to others. Thus we can diminish suffering step by step with simple acts of loving kindness.
During a three day online retreat at Plum Village, Sister True Dedication spoke about how our ancestors are part of us, even if we do not know our ancestors. She held out her hand and guided us in envisioning our ancestors in our hand, being grateful to our ancestors, and loving our ancestors, loving our selves, our families, and all others. At her side was a a very beautiful lotus floral arrangement. I was amazed at their size and extraordinary beauty and reminded of the many parables of the mud and the lotus. From the mud of our suffering can come such ineffable beauty and transformation. Change. Impermanence. Flow. Love. Transformation. Interbeing.
I am so grateful to the venerable Thich Nhat Hahn, to all the dharma teachers, the Buddha, Buddhas and Bodhisaatvas, to all my fellow Sangha members and teachers near and far, known and unknown, and to all who bring love and light with them as we journey together present moment by present moment with compassion and loving kindness.
May I and all beings accept things as they are with inner peace, love, and equanimity. May our thoughts, speech, and actions be permeated with compassion, open hearted ness and open mindedness. May I and all beings be free fro the suffering of fear, anger, judgment, and duality. May we come to know our true nature....